My vision blurs with tears, my heart feels it’ll burst out of my chest, & my head spins just enough to remind me how alive I am…
When I was 19-years-old, I was a hot mess… But I don’t know that I would change anything because it all turned out okay — for the most part…
Mothers Day is always a rough holiday for me. I know I can’t be the only one.
Some take issue with it because their mothers are gone; others take issue because they have tried with all of their might to become mothers, but, for whatever reason, it just has not happened. Still others just didn’t have a mother — or had one that wasn’t exactly loving.
In my case, it is not quite that simple. (Is it ever?)
I have been a bit withdrawn lately. . . I think about trying to socialize more — in the blogosphere, reaching out to some local friends, making a call to my friends back home (in Washington) — but, I just don’t have the
desire energy to deal with it. That sounds bitchy, but I swear it’s not. Maybe I’ll talk more about that another time. . .
I have been a Facebook addict for quite some time now. . . I couldn’t tell you when it happened or even when I realized it had happened. . . But, it is among the first things I do when I wake up, among the last before going to sleep, & what I find myself mindlessly checking when I am bored or waiting for an appointment. I don’t usually post my meals or cat videos (Yuck! I am not a cat person!), but there are some other telling signs of (&, perhaps, reasons for) my addiction. . .
Twenty-four years ago (on August 16) — exactly three months before my ninth birthday, my baby brother was born! (Happy birthday, Ron!) I have a hard time picturing him as the young man that he is. . . In my eyes, he is still the eight-year-old boy that he was when I left home after our mother died. I am thankful that God saw to it that our mother helped him into the world just eight short years before she passed (Thankful #1). He has been a blessing (& a burden! ha ha) in my life & I wouldn’t trade him for anything!