I almost wasn’t going to make this an actual blog post, because I wasn’t sure where this would go… But, frankly, this isn’t like other blogs & this crap has been hanging out in my chaotic, crazy brain for far too long. Maybe vomiting it out into my corner of the Web will help me make some sense of it or give me an epiphany or confirm my fears or SOMETHING …
I have been going to bed most nights lately with tears in my eyes. It is all I can do to keep the tears streaming down my face from turning into full-on SOBS.
Kicking myself for: getting braces in the first place. I am so frustrated! I had them put on last July (2013) & things went seemingly smoothly for several months. In January, my dentist & orthodontist agreed that I needed a tooth pulled, so I grudgingly did it. . . The problem is that it is right up front, on the bottom — VERY noticeable! (Insert stereotypical “trailer trash” jokes here!) A week after the tooth was pulled, I had wires on again, to start straightening those teeth out. Then, in March, after only two adjustments since the tooth was pulled, the handsome husband & I moved from Washington State to Arizona, which, of course, necessitated a change in my oral care. . . All the new doctors are saying my gums aren’t healthy enough for braces — yet they are the healthiest they have been in YEARS AND they are healthier than when I was first banded! I am SO FRUSTRATED! My last adjustment was back in February. My wires were removed in April & I have had JUST brackets on my teeth ever since. This is NOT okay!
Welcome to another week of “On Purpose.” If you’re curious about the thought behind this series, click here for its introductory post.
I am detecting a theme here lately. . . I am falling short of my goals. On one hand, I want to be more strict with myself so that I actually accomplish these things. (That is the whole point of this, right?!) On the other hand, I want to celebrate the successes I have so that I am not so hard on myself that I stagnate & quit making any kind of progress. . . (I think this is also why I am getting this published quite a bit later in the day than usual!)
Yeah, yeah. This is supposed to be a weekly Monday post. Better a day late than not at all, eh? 😉
I am currently. . .
Looking forward to: (other than the day that my HCG levels are below 5), I am looking forward to hugging Little RJ as he gets off the plane tonight! YES! Tonight is the night! We have him for three weeks & I am SO STOKED to have him here for a bit. I miss him so much.