Is it a Rock & a Hard Place?

I don’t feel like ME lately …

I almost wasn’t going to make this an actual blog post, because I wasn’t sure where this would go… But, frankly, this isn’t like other blogs & this crap has been hanging out in my chaotic, crazy brain for far too long. Maybe vomiting it out into my corner of the Web will help me make some sense of it or give me an epiphany or confirm my fears or SOMETHING …

I have been going to bed most nights lately with tears in my eyes. It is all I can do to keep the tears streaming down my face from turning into full-on SOBS.

Continue reading “Is it a Rock & a Hard Place?”

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The Ripple Effects of Self-Care

It’s been a while… I feel like I never have time.. But, really, it is that I set my expectations for each post higher than it needs to be… I’ll be honest: I write with an audience in mind, sure… My audience is mostly friends & family who like to get updates, with some blogging friends I have made along the way… & there’s an intended audience of those random people out there who just happen to go through similar things as me, who I hope to give hope or insight or just let them know they’re not alone… But, in the end, I write for ME. I write because I feel better when I do… & because it is fun… & because I enjoy the connection & the release… It helps me calm the chaos of my mind. (Thankful #1)

So, with all of that said, I figured I’d sit & write whatever flows out of my head today… & why not make it part of two of my favorite blog hops: Ten Things of Thankful & Finish the Sentence Friday? 😉 I have much for which to be thankful, after all, & all of these things have a ripple effect, flowing into other parts of my life & affecting those I love.

I finished last semester of college with an okay GPA, but I failed one of my four classes. :/ That hit me pretty hard, considering the 4.0 overall GPA I had prior to that… BUT, I have come to terms with it… (Thankful #2) Frankly, I am still damn proud. I managed to pass three classes, maintain an overall honor student status, AND I had a beautiful baby girl during that semester! (Thankful #3) I’d say I am doing okay.

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Walked All Over

She used to be a confidant, a drinking partner, a shoulder to cry on — one of my best friends.

Now, I look at her & roll my eyes because all I can see is her selfishness, evident in the way she blatantly bulldozed through boundaries I had clearly set, (& by the carefully constructed social media updates, designed to evoke sympathy or envy or understanding, despite being only a small fraction of the actual truth).

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A Rainbow in Even the Darkest of Clouds

I will be honest; I wasn’t going to write anything for Ten Things of Thankful. Again. Ugh. BUT, then I remembered that this week marks the 100th week! So, I should probably pull my crap together to be a part of it, eh? 😉

I am grateful Ten Things of Thankful exists. (Thankful #1) I might not participate as often as I would like or as often as I really should, but it is a nudge in the right direction when my thoughts get too gloomy. Heck! Even when I don’t participate, knowing it is out there has me thinking about what I would write if I wasn’t so caught up in my own thoughts to the point where I can’t untangle the mess enough to create a post. The reminder to be thankful sometimes is enough.

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A Brief Coffee Date

I won’t sugar-coat it: I am a Starbucks junkie. It is what it is. Being in a state that I am still not QUITE identifying as my “home,” even after living here for over a year, there have been NUMEROUS times I wished I was back in Washington, tucked away in a corner at a local Starbucks store, catching up with a friend or two. . . Pair this with the fact that I am having a really hard time lately, trying to decide which parts of my chaos I am okay with sharing, & you get this rushed, last-minute contribution to the Ultimate Coffee Date blog hop for May.

So, pull up a seat & settle in with your favorite beverage & lets catch up just a touch. . . (My go-to these days is a grande, triple shot, two-pump hazelnut, two-pump mocha with coconut milk & light whip; what’ll you have? ;))

I love my coffee. . . (Image from morgueFile.com)
I love my coffee. . . (Image from morgueFile.com)

Continue reading “A Brief Coffee Date”