Is it a Rock & a Hard Place?

I don’t feel like ME lately …

I almost wasn’t going to make this an actual blog post, because I wasn’t sure where this would go… But, frankly, this isn’t like other blogs & this crap has been hanging out in my chaotic, crazy brain for far too long. Maybe vomiting it out into my corner of the Web will help me make some sense of it or give me an epiphany or confirm my fears or SOMETHING …

I have been going to bed most nights lately with tears in my eyes. It is all I can do to keep the tears streaming down my face from turning into full-on SOBS.

Continue reading “Is it a Rock & a Hard Place?”

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The Ripple Effects of Self-Care

It’s been a while… I feel like I never have time.. But, really, it is that I set my expectations for each post higher than it needs to be… I’ll be honest: I write with an audience in mind, sure… My audience is mostly friends & family who like to get updates, with some blogging friends I have made along the way… & there’s an intended audience of those random people out there who just happen to go through similar things as me, who I hope to give hope or insight or just let them know they’re not alone… But, in the end, I write for ME. I write because I feel better when I do… & because it is fun… & because I enjoy the connection & the release… It helps me calm the chaos of my mind. (Thankful #1)

So, with all of that said, I figured I’d sit & write whatever flows out of my head today… & why not make it part of two of my favorite blog hops: Ten Things of Thankful & Finish the Sentence Friday? 😉 I have much for which to be thankful, after all, & all of these things have a ripple effect, flowing into other parts of my life & affecting those I love.

I finished last semester of college with an okay GPA, but I failed one of my four classes. :/ That hit me pretty hard, considering the 4.0 overall GPA I had prior to that… BUT, I have come to terms with it… (Thankful #2) Frankly, I am still damn proud. I managed to pass three classes, maintain an overall honor student status, AND I had a beautiful baby girl during that semester! (Thankful #3) I’d say I am doing okay.

13718534_10153800957966194_5488825672648843702_n Continue reading “The Ripple Effects of Self-Care”

Bitch.

“You’re not good enough & there’s something seriously wrong with you; no matter how hard you try, you’ll always fall short.”

“You’re too caught up in your own thoughts, too emotional, too intense, too numb, too calculated, too lethargic, too everything; you’re hard to love.”

Bitch Continue reading “Bitch.”

Smooth Sailing? (A #10Thankful Post)

In many ways, this week has flown by. The boost in confidence that came my way towards the end of last week helped me throw some of my self-criticism aside enough to just be a little happier this week. (Thankful #1) This is not to say that The Bitch didn’t make an appearance — she did; she always does. . . BUT, it is to say that I was able to put her in the background instead of at the forefront, which is good. Hopefully, I can keep this up & it’ll be smooth sailing for a bit. . .

Smooth Sailing Continue reading “Smooth Sailing? (A #10Thankful Post)”

A Rainbow in Even the Darkest of Clouds

I will be honest; I wasn’t going to write anything for Ten Things of Thankful. Again. Ugh. BUT, then I remembered that this week marks the 100th week! So, I should probably pull my crap together to be a part of it, eh? 😉

I am grateful Ten Things of Thankful exists. (Thankful #1) I might not participate as often as I would like or as often as I really should, but it is a nudge in the right direction when my thoughts get too gloomy. Heck! Even when I don’t participate, knowing it is out there has me thinking about what I would write if I wasn’t so caught up in my own thoughts to the point where I can’t untangle the mess enough to create a post. The reminder to be thankful sometimes is enough.

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