Bitch.

“You’re not good enough & there’s something seriously wrong with you; no matter how hard you try, you’ll always fall short.”

“You’re too caught up in your own thoughts, too emotional, too intense, too numb, too calculated, too lethargic, too everything; you’re hard to love.”

Bitch Continue reading “Bitch.”

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Walked All Over

She used to be a confidant, a drinking partner, a shoulder to cry on — one of my best friends.

Now, I look at her & roll my eyes because all I can see is her selfishness, evident in the way she blatantly bulldozed through boundaries I had clearly set, (& by the carefully constructed social media updates, designed to evoke sympathy or envy or understanding, despite being only a small fraction of the actual truth).

Walked All Over Continue reading “Walked All Over”

Baby Girl or Alien Parasite? (Why I feel like a horrible, worthless person…)

I feel like a horrible, worthless person.

Maybe that’s a slight exaggeration… (But only slight.)

Even after our miscarriage last year, I, somehow, cannot just enjoy this pregnancy.

I am MISERABLE! Seriously.

Baby Girl or Alien Parasite Continue reading “Baby Girl or Alien Parasite? (Why I feel like a horrible, worthless person…)”

A Long Overdue Brain Dump (A #10 Thankful Post)

It’s been way too long… As a result, I have all kinds of nonsense built up in my brain. You’d think I would practice what I preach & write more often to prevent this from happening, but it is just not that simple, it seems. There are numerous insecurities that come into play… & a struggle to prioritize… &, well, just plain ol’ not feeling like it… But, then again, I don’t feel like doing much on a lot of days, so, yeah…

Anyway, because it has been so long, there’s a lot I want to get out. I won’t promise any kind of cohesiveness today. All I will promise is sincerity & good ol’ brain dump. Maybe I will even get to tie my thoughts into a Ten Things of Thankful post by the time I’m done. We shall see… (I did it! Thankful #1)

Where to begin?

Brain Dump Continue reading “A Long Overdue Brain Dump (A #10 Thankful Post)”

The Makings of Disturbing Dreams

It started a couple of weeks ago… I woke up distraught & in tears over a dream. It wasn’t the first vivid pregnancy dream I’ve had so far this pregnancy, but it WAS the first that was disturbing & angst-ridden.

Makings of Disturbing Dreams Continue reading “The Makings of Disturbing Dreams”

A Slow Death in Hell

Stepping across the threshold, the coolness left on my skin from the air conditioning inside my home abandons me.

I gasp from the shock of the stagnant hot air that hits me in the face; I feel like I cannot get quite enough oxygen to my lungs.

A Slow Death in Hell Continue reading “A Slow Death in Hell”