I almost wasn’t going to make this an actual blog post, because I wasn’t sure where this would go… But, frankly, this isn’t like other blogs & this crap has been hanging out in my chaotic, crazy brain for far too long. Maybe vomiting it out into my corner of the Web will help me make some sense of it or give me an epiphany or confirm my fears or SOMETHING …
I have been going to bed most nights lately with tears in my eyes. It is all I can do to keep the tears streaming down my face from turning into full-on SOBS.
I am one of the worst culprits at procrastination.
I know what you’re thinking: If I am a horrible procrastinator, what can I possibly share about STOPPING the procrastination?
I feel you. BUT, hear me out.
I know all the ways that suck me in & make procrastination feel like it is inevitable. I succumb to the comfy couch or the thrilling TV series that I am binge-watching, now into the fifth season (it’s “Arrow” right now, if you must know!). In a way, I am procrastinating NOW by writing this post. (Yet, I have procrastinated in writing here for a LONG time, so maybe I am not? LOL.)
So, it stands to reason, if I know what sucks me INTO procrastination, I ALSO know ways to avoid it. All that it takes is some perseverance & intention to actually STOP procrastination. This list is as much for me as it is for you — & that is okay.
A blaring alarm clock at the break of dawn, jolting you awake & out of your comfortable mass of blankets on your cozy bed. Stumbling into the bathroom to shower & brush teeth, dressing & all the other necessities of the morning before rushing out the door to commute to jobs in dreary offices. . .
Or is it a “flexible” retail schedule that has your alarm clock going off at various times on different days each week? Yeah. “Flexible.” As if you really have all that much flexibility. . . In retail, the flexibility is for upper management; let’s be real.
Maybe it’s something more back-breaking. . . Something like construction, where you are going to work to sweat your ass off anyway, so you can skip the shower in the morning, saving it for later.
Either way, after a hard day’s work, there’s usually more rushing around to get dinner started. . . Maybe there are children that need to be coaxed into doing homework or chores — or to just not kill each other. . . Then, you might get to sit on your couch for a short while to stare at the television before going back to bed to get up to do it all over again. . .
In many ways, this week has flown by. The boost in confidence that came my way towards the end of last week helped me throw some of my self-criticism aside enough to just be a little happier this week. (Thankful #1) This is not to say that The Bitch didn’t make an appearance — she did; she always does. . . BUT, it is to say that I was able to put her in the background instead of at the forefront, which is good. Hopefully, I can keep this up & it’ll be smooth sailing for a bit. . .
Ah. Writing. I feel better when I do it. . . I feel conflicted when I don’t. . . It requires a certain amount of mental clarity to accomplish anything satisfying. . . Yet, when I do write, it is the best way to gain the mental clarity I need. It’s such a “Catch 22,” really. Ugh.
Overall, though, I am thankful for my ability to write. (Thankful #1) I am not great writer or author, but at least I don’t completely suck at it. . . It seems, more often than not, when I seek to get a point across through written word, my objective is met. Whether academic, therapeutic, or recreational, writing comes relatively easy to me. . . (Thankful #2) I can only imagine what I could do with it if I actually put forth a tremendous effort, ya know?