I won’t sugar-coat it: I am a Starbucks junkie. It is what it is. Being in a state that I am still not QUITE identifying as my “home,” even after living here for over a year, there have been NUMEROUS times I wished I was back in Washington, tucked away in a corner at a local Starbucks store, catching up with a friend or two. . . Pair this with the fact that I am having a really hard time lately, trying to decide which parts of my chaos I am okay with sharing, & you get this rushed, last-minute contribution to the Ultimate Coffee Date blog hop for May.
So, pull up a seat & settle in with your favorite beverage & lets catch up just a touch. . . (My go-to these days is a grande, triple shot, two-pump hazelnut, two-pump mocha with coconut milk & light whip; what’ll you have? ;))
If we were having coffee, I would tell you. . . that I have been having a really hard time, emotionally lately. I finally went to see an actual doctor about my depression (over a month ago now) & he gave me a diagnosis I don’t like & recommended medication. I have finally come around in seeing the need for it, but — for several legitimate reasons — I am not quite ready to take his advice. . . It is what it is?
If we were having coffee, I would tell you. . . that I am so super excited, but simultaneously terrified that this is the last full week of the spring semester for this school year. By the end of this week, three of my five classes will be done — & next Tuesday is the final day for my two in-person classes. After that, I have over three months for summer break before the fall semester starts. I am glad to be done with this round of classes, but I am worried about having all that extra time on my hands again. Just, yuck. But. . . It is what it is.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you. . . I am so super excited for July to hurry up & get here! We have rented a car to drive up to Washington for a decent-length visit. We will get to see friends & family we haven’t seen in way too long. . . & we get to meet — for the first time!– our new niece & nephew. It has been so terribly difficult to see all the pictures of everyone else getting to hold & snuggle these beautiful babies. The handsome husband & I are more jealous than is probably healthy to admit & simply cannot wait to get to hold them both. Tears will be shed — without a doubt.
If we were having coffee, I would tell you. . . I really miss blogging. I feel like sharing some of my chaos does really help. . . It’s just that there’s a lot — like, REALLY a lot — that I am still processing. . . Things that I don’t know what to think about, that I haven’t even effectively talked to the handsome husband or one of my best friends about. . . I share A LOT more in this corner of the Web than quite a lot of people would probably be comfortable with. . . That’s okay. I know I share a lot. The reason it is okay is because I have processed what I am sharing & I am reasonably comfortable with myself & how I process things. When self-consciousness & self-doubt enters the picture, it is harder to share things — & that is when there are month-long gaps in Calculated Chaos content. 😉 Maybe that will start to change; maybe it won’t. . . But, at least here’s a tidbit in the meantime. . . 😉
Thanks for “having coffee” with me. . . What would you share with me if we were having coffee?