Crying in the Grocery Store

Posted: February 23, 2015 in Defeating Depression
Tags: , , , , ,

So, today, I woke up, got dressed, & hit the grocery store.  Getting up & getting going, first thing, without trying to do something else or “ease my way into it” is kind of a big deal for me. When I try to “ease my way into it,” I wind up never quite getting going. The couch is my best friend. I kid you not.

So, I was patting myself on the back, walking around the grocery store, basket on one arm & my Starbucks grande, triple shot, three-pump hazelnut, two-pump mocha with soy & light whip in my other hand. I had already been through the produce section & was looking for some hot dogs in natural casing, when I heard my name from a few steps away. It was one of my friends that I haven’t seen in several weeks (months? I don’t know; I lose track).

We hugged & said our hellos. . . Then she asked the question that made me cry instantly. In public. Ugh. Embarrassing much?

Seriously?! (Image from morgeFile.com)

Seriously?! (Image from morgeFile.com)

Okay. So, I guess I don’t even remember the exact question. . . But, really, she asked, “How are you?” (Or was it, “How have you been?” Or was it something else entirely? Ugh. You get the point.) Really? An inquiry into how I am produced instant tears? REALLY??

I don’t think it was just the question. . . I think it was the sincerity in her voice as she asked it. . . & the fact that it caught me so off-guard. I guess I was expecting the same ol’ polite small talk you usually encounter when you run into someone you know at the grocery store, you know?

So, there I am. Tears are streaming down my face faster than I can wipe them away & I am simultaneously trying to back-pedal enough to attempt to explain away my overly emotional state. . .

“Oh, geez. I am so sorry.” Sorry for making things awkward & uncomfortable (for us both, I am sure).

“Things really aren’t that bad.” So convincing as tears are running down my face.

“I am actually the happiest I’ve ever been.” Obviously. As I am crying in the middle of the grocery store, right?

Ugh.

We talked a few moments longer & during that time she assured me she knew exactly what I meant & had felt that way herself too. I don’t know if she meant that is how she currently feels, or if it means she’s just been there before. It doesn’t matter which it was; I was appreciative for the sincerity.

She hugged me goodbye & she went to find her family & I finished my grocery shopping & left.

It is funny how that works, eh? I thought I was fine. . . Then such a seemingly innocent question tips me over the edge.

I don’t get it. I must be doing just enough to keep myself distracted from the dark cloud that seems to always follow me around, regardless of what I do. . .

Either way, I am thankful for friends such as the one I happened to run into at the grocery store today. . .

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Comments
  1. lrconsiderer says:

    sigh You haven’t been writing, it seems, forever. I hope that someday the couch gives you back to us. But I’m glad you have grocery store friends to help you connect with what needs to be connected with.

    Liked by 1 person

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