A Therapeutic Task (TToT #14)

Posted: January 3, 2015 in Defeating Depression
Tags: , , , , , , ,

So. . . I let myself get into a foul mood yesterday & abandoned the thought of even trying to find & share my thankfuls for the week. . . But, while what upset me is still lingering, I am able to at least set it aside enough to share today. Afterall, this IS a therapeutic task; is it not?

(Image from morgueFile.com)

(Image from morgueFile.com)

This being the first TToT of the new year, it is fitting to share that New Year’s Eve was celebrated with the handsome husband, who did not have to work! Whoo hoo! (Thankful #1) It was the first holiday in quite sometime that he actually had off! (Nevermind that there won’t be another for quite some time either. . . But, whatevs for now.) We intended to spend the evening quietly at home, but about 9pm, he asked me to put on my shoes & we went down the road to a local sports bar for a few drinks & an appetizer. It was nice to be out for a bit, practically cuddling in a booth, people watching & sipping our beverages. (Thankful #2) He has a knack for sometimes knowing exactly what to do to cheer me up — even if it is temporary. (Thankful #3) We left the bar about 10:30pm when the DJ started up & fake smoke began filling the room. I guess it’s a sign that we’re aging when that’s what drives us away, eh? Oh well. I don’t mind aging as long as it along side the handsome husband. . . I will follow him damn near anywhere — & thankfully, it actually appears he’d do the same for me if I asked it. (Thankful #4)

We didn’t really celebrate Christmas, but we got a few gift cards in the mail from the in-laws, which was quite nice. We used one of them to purchase a new pot & pan set (which I am thoroughly enjoying since we were in need of new ones pretty badly – Thankful #5) & a new water pick (which I am still trying to get the hang of using effectively — you know, without spraying water all over the bathroom & myself –Thankful #6). Both of those items were on my 101 in 1001 list — so that tells you the significance that some material possessions can have once in a while. . .

On an only slightly similar note, I have a few appointments coming up this next week — one of which happens to be my first appointment with a psychologist. I am still inclined to think it very well may be a waste of time, but I am anxious to “get it over with” & find out what is to come of it, if anything. I am relieved that “the ball is rolling” in that regard (Thankful #7) & that the idea of that seems to be giving a few of the people who care about me at least a little extra bit of a peace of mind (Thankful #8). Even if there is not much else good to come of it, I suppose that is worth it enough to give it a try. . .

Among other things on my mind lately is travel. We didn’t have Little RJ down for Christmas for several reasons, but the one that topped the list wound up being that we didn’t plan properly (financially) to have him down again so quickly after his Thanksgiving visit. SO, we now have a rough plan to be able, within the next month or so, to purchase his plane tickets for a visit during his spring break from school, which should be roughly the first week of April. (Thankful #9) It might still be another three months away, but it is good to have something specific to look forward to. . . It is a necessity for my mental health, really.

I have days when I am totally fine, then some seemingly small thing really isn’t so small to me & it sets me off — makes the tears flow & the gloom come over me. I’d imagine, if I were on the outside looking in, it would appear that it was really for no reason at all — or, at best, that it is an over-reaction for the situation at hand. Perhaps that is an accurate assessment; perhaps not. What I do know is that the handsome husband tries to take it in stride; he really does. (Thankful #10) He might not always get it right, but I can still see the restraint in his eyes when I am being difficult & the doubt in his eyes in the after-math, seeming to wonder if there’s something else he can do. That does count for a lot. . .

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Comments
  1. dyannedillon says:

    I put on my pajamas at 6:30 this evening, so the fact that you stayed out until 10:30 is pretty impressive to me! Glad you had a good time (until the smoke started, that is). And I’m glad you went ahead and wrote that TToT list. When you don’t want to do it is EXACTLY the time you SHOULD do it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Reta Jayne says:

      I seem to go through phases. Months ago, I was in bed by 7pm & up at the crack of dawn. . Lately, I’ve switched to a graveyard schedule, waking in the late afternoon & going to bed around dawn. . . I just have a low tolerance for groups of people, I think. LOL. I am going to be a crotchety old lady. 😉

      Like

  2. fangboner1 says:

    I hate to see what I could do with a water pick… I have yet to keep all the toothpaste in my mouth with the spin brush.

    I really love people watching!

    Seven? Yes …just yes… TO both parts of it. I mean whats the worst they can say? Your normal? God forbid!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Reta Jayne says:

      Hahaha! I feel so much better about my water pick usage! 😉 I am just starting to get used to the spinning toothbrush! LOL. It seems so foreign — almost too fancy schmancy — to be using stuff like that. . . But, my oral health demands that extra step right now, especially since I am a thirty-something brace face. 😉

      What IS “normal” anyway?? 😉 LOL. But yes. You’re so right. What IS the worst that can be said? One way or another, I suppose it really can’t hurt. It’s just fear getting in my way, I think.

      Like

  3. Lisa @ The Meaning of Me says:

    I’m with the crowd who would have left the bar then, too. Even if we might stay up late at home, we’d rather just be at home. A sign of aging, perhaps, but I’m OK with that! Like Clark, I’m trying to think back to the last time I was in a smoke-filled bar (real or otherwise). It’s been a while for sure.
    I’m glad you did your list, even if you weren’t totally feeling it. It IS therapeutic – at least I hope it was for you. I know it always is for me. Being part of this linkup has seen me through a very tough period in our lives.
    New pots and pans are awesome. I got a new set of stainless last year and I absolutely love them!
    Having something to look forward to is always nice, I think. It’s important to cherish the moments in front of us, of course, but looking forward to something special is good, too, especially when it means being with someone we love.
    Happy and healthy new year to you, Reta Jayne, and a good week ahead!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Reta Jayne says:

      This did prove to be therapeutic. It wasn’t instant or anything. . . But it did force me to start to look at the “brighter side” again. . . It’s a snowball effect, isn’t it?

      I thank you so much for taking a few moments to comment, Lisa. I really do.

      Like

  4. Kristi Campbell - findingninee says:

    Your night out sounds perfect and I’d have left when the DJ and fake smoke came out too (so you can’t be old). I’m glad you’re going to see a shrink – I’ve had varying luck with them over the years. It really just depends on them I think. With everything, there are good and not so good. I hope the one you’re going to see is fabulous!! Happy 2015!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Reta Jayne says:

      I really am feeling better about us leaving when we did. 😉 We looked at each other at that moment & just knew it was time to go. LOL. 😉

      Thank you for your kind words, Kristi.

      Like

  5. christine says:

    My husband and I would be leaving for home by 10:30 on any date, and we could’t blame it on smoke. Smoking is not allowed indoors in Indy. We’re just lame. And old. 🙂

    Good luck with the appointment this week. I hope it helps.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Reta Jayne says:

      That does make me feel better. 😉 Smoking is not allowed indoors here either. It was the DJ’s fake smoke machine to add to the “dancing atmosphere.” It was quite ridiculous for a tiny little bar in a small town. .. LOL. 😉

      Like

  6. lrconsiderer says:

    You know what, though – depression’s SO hard because it changes the goalposts, sometimes quite drastically, on a day to day basis, and living with it is a NIGHTMARE…for everyone. You wake up not knowing where you’re going to stand, or what’s going to get to you…and there’s nothing worse than holding yourself up to unrealistic expectations (e.g. of coping) in those moments. But REMEMBERING that those expectations are unrealistic is also SO hard, because you constantly feel like you ‘should’ be capable, and the depression is constantly (lying and) telling you you’re failing.

    I’m glad you wrote, and I hope you found it theraputic. And I hope that things get more even for you.

    There were good things here, and I was happy to read them 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. zoebyrd says:

    yes, I am with clark . THere is a lost quality somewhere in there with fake smoke. of course it still goes without saying its better than real smoke and none is best of all! Good luck this week with the appt.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. We left the bar about 10:30pm when the DJ started up & fake smoke began filling the room.
    wait.a.minute.
    …granted the last time I was in a bar at night was…very long time ago, but… this fake smoke? I fear I know what it is….but….but what is Sunday morning, waking up with a stranger and your best corduroy jacket smells of Malboros…. without cigarette smoke? Please tell me that future generations of pulp readers won’t be expected to tolerate: “…even through the smoke hanging in the air, she stood out like flare next to a car wreck on the interstate.”
    tell me we are not talking about ….vapor!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. April says:

    Love that you and the hubby could go out! Even if you left when the smoke came on lol! I don’t think that makes you old just sensible 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Khai says:

    I love you, and I’m proud of you, do you know that?
    I’m super jealous of your pots and pans, too.

    Liked by 1 person

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