My Own Roadblock

Posted: March 25, 2014 in Self Realization
Tags: , , , , , , ,

A couple of mornings ago, I forced my fat ass onto my bicycle & down the walking/biking trail in our community. What a humbling experience!

During that time, I passed a couple out walking. Then, when they caught up to me at my half-way point, they asked if I was okay — I must have looked MISERABLE! LOL. I just told them I am just out of shape & we all said, simultaneously, “You have to start SOMEWHERE!” Made me feel a little better! 

I paused my timer at my half-way point & forgot to start it again. . . But it looks like it took me an embarrassing near-twenty minutes to go approximately a mile-and-a-half. My lungs were burning & my thighs were jello. I’ll tell you one more thing: At this stage in the game, the slight hills of Washington State (where we just moved from), with both ups and downs, are WAY more appealing than the steady, flat terrain of Arizona! Who would’ve thunk?! Eh. At least I went?

When I got home, feeling quite defeated, I posted a status update on my personal Facebook page, (for some reason, not on the Calculated Chaos page), partially to vent about my frustration regarding my brief excursion & partially to shame myself into venturing out on my bicycle again soon. After I hit “Post,” I cried for a moment, (embarrassing to admit, but true, nonetheless), & went about my day.

To my surprise, when I went back to that post later in the day, there was a surprising amount of ‘likes’ & several encouraging, supportive comments! I felt a bit redeemed & a touch more determination than I did earlier in the day. . .

I intended to go again the next day & on each morning the handsome husband went to work (plus, hopefully one with him each week). However, both mornings since, I either sabotaged my efforts by staying up too late the night before or, in today’s case, just psyched myself OUT of going. . .

His & Her Bicycles

His & Her Bicycles

Sometime over the last twenty-four hours or so, I chanced upon an article written by a gal named Andrea of My Fearless Heart, (a blog I intend to continue to follow). . . Amongst other relevant things, it said that “circumstances don’t just happen.” This hit me like a ton of bricks & I realized how much more control I actually have of the situation, even though it’s hard to see (or admit).

What I had already suspected was confirmed: I am my biggest obstacle. It’s high time that I figure out how to get out of my own way. I have never been one to limit my food choices or to deprive myself of anything I really crave; that is something I have absolutely no intention of changing. Afterall, all things in moderation are perfectly fine by me! BUT, with that said, I am not the skinny, young thing I once was. (Quitting smoking last year doesn’t help either, but that’s a separate subject!)

It is imperative that I create some kind of an actual habit in regards to getting active — at least moderately. “Just do it.” It seems like such a simple concept; yet, I struggle. What are some things you do to get over this type of issue? Or, are you in the same boat?

One day, hopefully in the not-so-distant future, I will look back & realize I was making this harder than it needs to be. Until then, I guess I just need to know I am not alone in this struggle & that it’s okay to feel the way I do.

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Comments
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  2. […] Along with that appointment came the experience of having to step on that scale again. . . Ugh. No bueno. I have far surpassed my heaviest weight in my entire life.  I, literally, had to fight the urge to cry. On the one hand, I am disgusted & defeated. . . On the other, I am almost ready to make some serious changes. I just don’t get why it is “almost” instead of “completely.” What else has to happen for me to kick my ass into gear? Not sure. Frustrating. […]

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  3. […] have been really hard on myself for not using the elliptical-like contraption that my husband bought me — at least not as […]

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  4. […] months, so you are so extremely tired — like, all the time. SO, getting up the energy to be even a little bit active is such a huge task in & of itself. . . It really seems like a “catch 22,” […]

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  5. […] . .  To snap out of it. But, every time I convince myself to do something productive, the same thing happens: I stop short of making any kind of real dent in what needs to be […]

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  6. […] though I have some obvious body issues going on as a result of all the weight I’ve gained over the last year or two, I have decided that it is even more unhealthy for me to continue to be […]

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  8. […] of the fast food joints near our home. Ugh. I ate it. Even though I already have body issues after gaining so much weight over the last year or two. . . That was a good choice! […]

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  9. […] them blow off some steam or get their thoughts organized or whatever. One day, I’d like to be more active on a regular basis & maybe that’ll turn into one of my outlets. In the meantime, writing […]

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  10. […] Quitting smoking! – our eating habits have drastically changed & I have gotten less & less active now that I am not working retail any longer. Foods taste differently when you’re a non-smoker. […]

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  11. Andrea says:

    Hi Reta, I just wanted to get in touch and say thank you for the kind words and mentioning my blog. I’m happy to hear that people reading my articles seem to get something out of them for themselves. BTW, I enjoyed reading your post, too!

    Like

    • Mocha Mama says:

      Andrea, thank you for taking the time to pop over for a quick read & comment! That is why we write, right? To make connections & to (hopefully!) inspire &/or motivate others. . . The mention was warranted & I will continue to follow you over at My Fearless Heart. Thank you again.

      Like

  12. […] an example, recently, I posted about being my own roadblock, & I still think it is true, but I also think that I am setting the wrong goals for myself. For […]

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